Pamela
chat pile Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴Close my eyes and you're still with me
In the trees with the locusts buzzing, but I
Never could keep my eyes closed long enough
And no amount of dreaming can bring you back, so
I can't remember if I told you I loved you that morning
Out on the lake, you called for your mother and my
Heart broke into a million pieces
So, I stare at the lake
Biding my time
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Wonder if all this pain I carry is
Strong enough to lift your body from the water
And make you be alive again
I think stupid things like this all the time, but
I would gladly trade my life for yours
If only the water could bargain
If only they had been watching
I can't turn back, only face forward, but
I would gladly trade my life for yours
If only the water could bargain
If only they had been watching
I can't turn back, only face forward
Open my eyes now, task in front of me
And your voice is always calling, but I
Can't control the rage inside of me
Spill their blood 'til the world is done with me
I want you to know right now that I loved you
When you left it almost killed your mother, but
Something inside me propels me forward
A kind of rage you just never get used to
So, I stare at the lake
Biding my time
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
And everything that I touch is dead
Everything that I wanted is gone
Nothing before me now but pain
Nothing before me but pain
And your voice
Your voice, of course
Someday I'll reach you
In my dreams I can reach you
So, I stare at the lake
Biding my time
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Cutting the meat
Forest of meat
Spill their blood
Spilling their blood
And resurrect my son
Resurrect my son
Resurrect my son
Resurrect my son
Stare at the lake
Biding my time
Waiting to die
Waiting to die
Overall Meaning
The song "Pamela" by Chat Pile is a heart-wrenching exploration of grief and loss. The lyrics describe the painful aftermath of losing someone beloved and the anger and despair that follow. The opening lines set the scene with a haunting image of someone trying to hold onto a memory, a presence that can never return. The singer can't keep their eyes closed long enough to forget the pain and can't dream up a way to bring their loved one back.
The second verse explores the regret and sorrow of loss. The singer wonders if they expressed their love enough, and recalls a moment on the lake where their loved one called for their mother and their heart broke into pieces. The pain is so intense that the singer imagines trading their life for their loved one's, or carving a deal with the water that took them away. The chorus, "Waiting to die," repeats over and over like a mantra, capturing the deep sense of hopelessness and despair that accompanies grief.
The final verse shifts the tone of the song, as the singer's pain turns into rage. The memory of their loved one propels them forward, but it also fuels a kind of anger that they can't control. They're willing to spill blood and cut through a forest of meat to find some sense of release or relief. Yet even in the midst of their rage, the voice of their loved one - or perhaps their own conscience - keeps calling to them. The song ends with a repetition of the chorus, capturing once again the sense of waiting and despair that defines so much of the experience of grief.
Line by Line Meaning
Close my eyes and you're still with me
Even when I close my eyes, the memory of you is still fresh in my mind
In the trees with the locusts buzzing, but I
I remember being in the trees amongst the sound of buzzing locusts
Never could keep my eyes closed long enough
I fail to keep my eyes closed for a long time
And no amount of dreaming can bring you back, so
No amount of dreaming can bring back the person I loved
I can't remember if I told you I loved you that morning
I cannot recollect whether I expressed my love to you that morning or not
Out on the lake, you called for your mother and my
When we were out on the lake, you called for your mother and this caused my
Heart broke into a million pieces
heart to shatter into a million pieces
A kind of darkness you just never get used to
It's a kind of darkness that one can never get used to
So, I stare at the lake
So, I find myself gazing at the lake
Biding my time
I am just waiting for something to happen
Waiting to die
I am waiting to die
Wonder if all this pain I carry is
I keep contemplating if all this pain that I am carrying is
Strong enough to lift your body from the water
powerful enough to lift your lifeless body from the water
And make you be alive again
and bring you back to life
I think stupid things like this all the time, but
I have these foolish thoughts frequently but
I would gladly trade my life for yours
I am willing to trade my life in exchange for yours
If only the water could bargain
If only the water could make a deal
If only they had been watching
If only someone had been watching over us
I can't turn back, only face forward, but
I cannot undo the past, but I can only move forward
Open my eyes now, task in front of me
I open my eyes and see the task that lies ahead of me
And your voice is always calling, but I
But your voice is always ringing in my ears and I
Can't control the rage inside of me
Cannot manage the anger that is brewing within me
Spill their blood 'til the world is done with me
I aim to kill as many people as I can before the world is done with me
I want you to know right now that I loved you
I feel the need to tell you that I loved you deeply
When you left it almost killed your mother, but
Your departure almost brought your mother to the brink of death
Something inside me propels me forward
There is a force that urges me to move ahead
A kind of rage you just never get used to
It's a type of fury that one can never get accustomed to
And everything that I touch is dead
Everything I come in contact with seems to die
Everything that I wanted is gone
Everything I desired is lost
Nothing before me now but pain
All that is before me is pain
Your voice
Your voice, of course
Your voice, of course
It's your voice, of course
Someday I'll reach you
I will reach you some day
In my dreams I can reach you
It's in my dreams that I can connect with you
Cutting the meat
Cutting through flesh
Forest of meat
A place where flesh lies scattered all around
Spill their blood
Let their blood flow
Spilling their blood
Letting their blood gush out
And resurrect my son
Bring my dead son back to life
Stare at the lake
I find myself staring at the lake
Biding my time
Just waiting for something to happen
Waiting to die
I am waiting for death
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Chat Pile
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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