THE first thing I found was a lump just above my collarbone.
I didn’t panic, I just felt sick in the stomach. It was too low on my neck to be my glands and I didn’t feel unwell at all. So I told myself not to panic and decided to keep an eye on myself for the next couple of days.
I was in LA, busy working and auditioning. Things were going really well. I’d just come back from an amazing holiday with my family in New York and Mum and Dad were due back in LA in couple of days.
Go back two years and our whole world had changed. My fit, powerful, strong dad was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin’s lymphoma and would have to undergo intense chemotherapy every three weeks for four months. And even then there would be no guarantee — Non Hodgkin’s lymphoma isn’t yet curable.
Two years later we were all in my LA apartment trying not to panic or jump to conclusions about the lump above my collarbone. I start to piece together all of these weird symptoms I’d been having: nightmares, tiredness, night sweats, rashes, funny coloured skin, mood swings, hallucinations, weight gain and my body and face looking bloated. All things I had been ignoring and just putting down to being exhausted. I mean, I was beyond health conscious and was extremely fit.
Fast forward three weeks and Nate and I were sitting in an Icon Cancer ward being told that the lump had to be removed, as it could be 50/50 Hodgkin’s lymphoma or Glandular fever. My whole world was quickly becoming a nightmare.
I knew deep down something wasn’t right, I could feel it. I’d never had surgery before so even that was a huge step for me. Little did I know what lay ahead. They removed the lump and began tests. In the meantime I tried to get on with my life as normal even though it felt like I was living life in a haze.
Driving around Brisbane with a girlfriend and my mum in the back, I receive a call from my surgeon and we pulled over. My body was taken over with emotion and shock as he told me the bad news and I kept telling him that it was OK and it would all be fine. I jumped out of the car and began taking layers of my clothes off. I was in a deep state of panic and shock, not even really processing the fact that I had just been told I had cancer.
My mum just held me and we cried together on the sidewalk of a busy Brisbane road, not knowing fully what we were up against but having a bit of an idea because of my dad.
On what seemed like the longest ride home to the Gold Coast, we sat in silence in a state of shock, both wondering how we were going to handle this. We didn’t have any information on how bad it was or how much chemo therapy I was going to have to have. It was too much to take in.
Meanwhile my dad was looking better than ever. It had been 12 months since he finished his treatment and he was looking and feeling amazing.
So in a time in my life where I felt like everything had just stopped, I had something to grab on to. I had inspiration and motivation right in front of me, my dad. I don’t think it was a coincidence that we both faced the same challenge.
And now, after finishing my chemotherapy sessions and being given a clean bill of health I actually feel thankful for the challenges that were thrown our way. It has changed us for the better. And I believe everything happens for a reason.
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